Let's Start a Rock and Roll Band!

Being twenty, living at home with my single Mom
that does pills every night and sleeps for cash, no
girlfriend (never had one), and basically no money,
there's nothing to do. All I have is my computer,
video games, and my community college that
sucks. I don't have the grades to go somewhere
nice, and I'm too poor to run away.
Being a pretty boring person, I need something.
Anything. I finally decided that I would do the one
thing that makes every person cool, even if that
person sucks at it: creating a rock band.
Having no friends, I would have to start my band
from scratch at community. Having a second
hand electric guitar that my older brother gave me
years ago and barely played, I set off to find my
new friends and band mates.
I put up signs all around my school, asking
anyone with music ability to come and find me so
that they could try out. On the day they were
supposed to find me, only six people showed up.
The first was some hipster kid with a fedora on. I
asked him what he played, and he said he plays
a keytar. I ask what the fuck that is, and he pulls
out a keyboard that looks like a guitar out of his
case. He starts playing, and he's good, but I still
can't shake the feeling that he's a gigantic
faggot.
Second and third were too girls who liked to sing.
One was some black chick who just liked singing
the same way Beyonce did and added in horrible
dance moves. The other girl was some country
chick from Oklahoma that sung like shit, but she
was hot, so I picked her over the other chick.
Fourth was Lucas. Lucas is probably 400 pounds,
black, and rides around in a wheelchair. He plays
the drums, and he is fucking amazing. With his
wheelchair, I don't even have to get a seat for
him to sit down on while playing.
Next was some emo chick who played bass. She
was bad as well, but she wasn't wearing a bra,
so I told her that she was in.
Finally, a Korean kid, Lee Won, showed up.
Wearing a South Korea soccer jersey, he took out
a guitar and started to play Canon Rock. He
wasn't even fucking trying, but he was fucking
amazing. He can't speak English that well at all,
and he looked more like a girl than the chick
trying to be Beyonce, but the guy knew how to
play guitar.
So at the end of the day, I had my band. Tony,
the hipster keytar player. Chelsea, the Spears
wannabe singer. Lucas, the wheelchair bound
African drums player. Lauren, the depressing chick
who doesn't wear a bra. And finally, Lee Won, the
Korean who can play guitar like a God.
We called ourselves KOREAN POP ROBOTS 9000.
Sleeping around, etc. My Mother is a slut. She's
not a terrible Mom, and she's not mean, but
she's been really flaky since my Dad left her for
some Swedish transfer teacher.
Anyways, after that day, we started practicing
every day. The Spears wannabe didn't show up
for the first two practices, so we had the others
try and sing. Lucas couldn't sing at all, Tony and
Lauren sounded like they were trying to do a
cover of My Chemical Romance, but Lee Won,
again, was pretty good. You couldn't really
understand the fuck he was saying because he
was mixing in Korean and English, but he had a
nice voice.
Chelsea showed up for our forth practice, and she
said that she had an important date with her
boyfriend all those days. This put me off because
I wanted to bang her, so I became jealous and
told her that Lee Won would be our lead singer
and guitar player while she sung back up to him.
We got into a fight, she wanted to quit, but Lucas
stepped in (...rolled in) and told us all to stop
acting like faggots. Tony was off to the side
smoking some weed, and Lee Won was reading
manga on my couch. Lauren was sitting by
herself on a chair I brought from my room and
was staring at everyone back and forth like she
was about to explode from anxiety.
We kept practicing for a few weeks, and we
became closer as a band. We started thinking of
songs, mostly me, and we were finally hitting a
groove. Chelsea was fine with being the back up
singer to our Korean superstar, and the others
were having fun with it all.
First gig we had came when Lucas came up to
me and said that his little brother was having a
party. I agreed to play it, and we were all pumped
to be getting paid $10 each to play for an hour at
a party.
We show up at the party and it turns out his little
brother is sixteen-years-old, a gangster in
training, and everyone at his party was black. We
all stuck out like a sore thumb, and the music
playing before we came on was all 50 Cent and
Lil' Wayne.
I confronted Lucas and asked why the fuck didn't
he tell me that his brother didn't like rock/
alternative music, and he told me that if he said
anything that I would have declined. Being stuck
in the situation, we started to playing and it went
terrible.
It wasn't like we weren't playing well on our first
song known as 'Fit', but the kids weren't paying
attention to us. They were all of, drinking alcohol
and talking to each other while we looked like
idiots playing to two black kids who were staring
at Chelsea the whole time.
We finish the gig early, about forty minutes early,
and prepare to get the fuck out of there. Lucas'
parents thank us and tell us we did a great job;
even if they didn't hear us play at all while they
were in the house.
We start packing up, and Lauren comes up to me
and thanks me for helping her get out of the
house. She tells me that her brother killed himself
and all that jazz, and she didn't do anything all
day but play World of Warcraft before the band
sign-ups came up.
She hugged me, and fuck, she smelled good. Like
strawberries and sweat mixed together into a
totally sweet combo. She then walks off and gets
in Lee Won's van that he took from his parents
restaurant.
Our first gig was a failure, but luckily, that wasn't
the end.
Alright, so we finished our first gig, and we all
went back to college that week and took a week
off of practicing because of mid-terms. I was
studying like crazy to get good grades, and since
I suck at anything school related, Lauren told me
that she would help me. Seeing as she was
getting straight A's in everything, she helped me
out while we worked on music at our house.
I tried to make a move on her one night, but she
didn't notice it and went to go get food when I
tried to put my hand on her knee. The next day,
again, I tried to talk about if she had a boyfriend,
but everything got interrupted when the whole
band came over for a study session.
Chelsea brought her boyfriend, a guy who looked
like he was a forty, and he had the balding hair to
prove it. They just went off in the corner and
made out while we were all working, and Lee Won
went around and helped everyone with our math.
He would come over to whoever was having
trouble, take our pen, make a few swipes, and he
would show us how to do it. Lauren helped
everyone with our Literature course, and Lucas
brought us food.
We all had a fun time, and we were ready for the
tests in the upcoming days. Since the weekend
was coming up, I asked Lauren if she wanted to
go to Six Flags. She said that she would love to,
and then she asked Lucas because he was right
by us. Lucas then asked Lee Won, and Lee Won
asked Tony who asked Chelsea who asked her
boyfriend who brought some old people with him
for some damn reason.
We get to Six Flags in the Won Mobile (except
Chelsea, her boyfriend, and his posse) and all
start to go around and do all the shit we can find.
Seeing as Lucas can't ride on the roller coasters,
him and Tony went off to go play games. Me,
seeing that as the most fun, first went to go out
try X2 with Lee Won and Lauren.
Things then got kinda got awkward. Seeing as
there is only two people per seat on the ride, and
there was three of us, one of us had to get left
out. We all looked at each other, and Lee Won
said he would go with some random person and
let us two go together. I gave him a high five
behind Lauren's back, and he gave me a thumbs
up.
The ride was awesome, and she didn't scream as
much as I did. The coaster came to a stop, we
got off, and went on other rides like Superman
and Riddler while Lee Won continued to stay in
the background with me and Lauren in the front.
All of us finally got back together around 4:00 PM
for some food, and Chelsea and her boyfriend
were hanging out with these old guys in suits.
They were discussing politics and crap while she
looked like she was only interested in making out
with her balding love.
We ate our food and then went to go play games
with Tony and Lucas. We all played that game
where you have to shoot the target until the thing
goes into the air and hits the top, so we all went
at it at once. Lucas somehow won, gave the
gigantic teddy bear to Lauren, and she gave him
a kiss on the cheek.
I raged on the inside, but I let it slide seeing as I
didn't think of Lucas as a competitor for her
heart. The rest of the day was a bunch of rides
and games. The most memorable thing could
probably be the 3-Point Challenge thing the park
was running.
It was a basketball court, and they were saying if
you could hit 10 three pointers in sixty seconds,
you could win a basketball jersey or a mini
electric guitar. Lee Won told us that he would try,
gave $7 to the guy running it, and hit 12 three
pointers with five seconds to spare.
A crowd submerged onto all of us, and he got
cheers from all the girls and got high fives from
all the guys. He took one of the mini guitars and
gave it to me, saying we were best friends.
We all had a great time that day, and we left in
the Won Mobile back to my house for a late night
cramming session.
The night comes and everything is hectic. We're
all supposed to show up at my house, but my
Mom has two gentlemen over, and they're
drinking alcohol and partying in the living room.
I have to intercept everyone, bring them to the
garage, and get ready there. I'm no going to say
I'm ashamed of my Mother, but...never mind, I
am very ashamed of her. We all get ready, throw
our shit in the Won Mobile, and we're on our way
to the high school.
We show up and there is a gigantic group of
people around most of our ages in front of the
school. Mixed in with college students and high
school students, a lot of them are holding bottles
with brown bags covering them and cowering into
corners where no one can see them.
We get ready and start heading inside when a few
girls come over to van and start chatting up
Tony. Tony, wearing some horrible looking black
and white striped tuxedo with a hat to match,
starts to chat with them and then bails for a few
minutes to go wherever they wanted him to go.
Lucas says he'll go roll after him, but I tell him
that I'll go.
Lee Won tags along, and we leave the heavy
lifting to the two girls and the guy who is in the
wheelchair. We head over to where there are
some kids hanging out near the lunch tables of
the school, at night, and see that Tony is with
them with his unique attire.
I question Tony what the hell he is doing, and
he's doing coke lines on the table while some
other kids cover him. One of the girl has her hand
on his ass, and I take his hat and throw it on the
ground, saying that we need to take this
seriously.
Tony gets in my face, pissed off that I threw his
hat, and Lee steps in to calm everyone down.
Tony and the random underage jailbait make out
for a few minutes, and then all three of us run
towards the school to get prepped for the show.
We get inside and almost no one is there. The
teacher supervisors are all inside and not giving a
shit about the party outside. The only kids inside
seem to be the preppy kids and the nerds that
wouldn't ever do drugs or drink alcohol.
All of us get our instruments on stage, check the
sound system, play a little to get going, and we
have to start. We begin playing, and we're not
bad except for the awful country singing by
Chelsea and the off tune keyboard playing by
Tony.
The set is finished, and a few kids clap. A few
kids danced, some told us that we did a good job,
and that was it. We had finished our second gig,
and it was a big improvement over the last one, I
guess.
Tony explains to us since we're done playing,
he's going to go outside and find a girl named
Sara. Lucas tells me to fuck off and to carry all
the shit I made him carry before, and he follows
after Tony. Chelsea gets on her cellphone right
away and calls up her boyfriend, ignoring all of
us.
That leaves me, Lauren, and Lee Won to clear the
stage and put everything back. Me and Lee start
getting the drum set to take back and Lauren
takes the smaller things, all three of us sticking
close together.
Some random guy walks out from the back
entrance where the van was, and he asks Lauren
if she wants to go have fun with him. Since me
and Lee are putting the instruments away, we
don't see what's going on, and when we look
back she's getting harassed by some guy doped
up on drugs.
Before I can yell for help, Lee rushes over to her
and headbutts the guy in the chest and then
punches him in the face. I then yell for help, and
people rush over to check out what happened. We
explain the situation, and we say that the guy has
drugs on him.
A few hours later after all three of us are hanging
out in the van, the other three people in our band
show up and we're ready to go home. While Lee
drove us back to my house to rest, I couldn't
shake the feeling that Lauren was looking at me.
Okay, friends went home already, so I can
continue. Let's see, after the Valentines Night
Dance, we all said we would take a few days to
settle our heads before practicing again. Me and
Lee Won were at my house, doing some
homework when my cell began to ring. It was
Lauren.
I pick up, trying not to sound surprised and
excited, wanting to pick out the perfect words.
When I started to stutter and sound idiotic, Lee
Won picked up his pen, wrote some lines on a
paper and held them up to me so that I could
sound like I knew what I was doing.
Lauren wanted to thank me for being a great help,
and she says that her family is proud of her for
doing something productive instead of sitting
around the house all day. She questioned me to
see if me and her could meet later on that night
at a local book store, and I couldn't contain my
happiness. I told her I would be there in an hour,
and I hung up.
Lee Won gave me a pounding of the fist and
asked if I had ever been on a date before. Seeing
as I was twenty, it was weird telling him that I
had actually never been out with a girl alone
before. He told me that he hadn't either, and he
was 19-years-old. I was shocked, knowing how
great the guy was, but he then added in that his
Mom thought women in America were demons
and would rape him.
I laughed, and Lee said that he didn't like it. He
felt like an outsider when most of his friends
talked about trying to get girls back in high
school, and he knew that if he asked out a girl
that his Mom would beat his head in. His Dad, on
the other hand, wanted Lee to fuck every girl he
saw, but his Mom wore the pants in his family,
so Lee Won was out of luck.
I told Lee that he could sleep here tonight with
my Mother not caring who stayed. She was out
for the night, anyway, probably having sex with
her new Italian boyfriend named Rodrigo or some
shit like that.
I tried to find the nicest clothes I had that didn't
smell terrible, but the only things I could find
were a plain black shirt that said 'HAPPY DOG'
with a brown cartoon dog smiling on the front
and jeans that were to small for me. I had no
time, so I forced myself into the jeans and put on
the stupid shirt.
Lee told me to have a great time and to get
Lauren. He added that I was a good guy, and he
knew that Lauren liked me the same way I liked
her. I don't know why, but I gave him a hug, and
while the silence broke in, I ran out of the room
without looking back.
She was at the book store when I got her, and
she was sitting down at the counter where they
served coffee. I asked her what she was reading,
and she told me it was just the newspaper from
the school we performed at. They called us the
'College Dropout Robots 9000' for some fucking
reason, probably Lucas, but it also said that we
were an upcoming band, so that felt nice; even
though that piece of writing was probably from
some 14-year-old kid that didn't even listen to
us.
We started talking about how much fun it has
been to have so many people around, and she
thanked me again for being always there for me.
She looked me in the eye, smiled, and gave me a
gigantic hug. I melted in my seat, and if I died
right there, it would have been fucking awesome.
My first intimate hug from a girl that wasn't part
of my family, and it was soft, warm, and her body
smelled like strawberries without the sweat this
time. The last time she hugged me was different.
This time it meant something.
"You're like a big brother to me."
...What?
WHAT?
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?
"You're always there for me, Leon..."
I sat there, sipping on my cold cup of shit beans
grounded up, and put on the most fake smile
since the Presidential election.
"So, I wanted to tell you first before even
Chelsea."
I nodded.
"I like someone in the band."
My stomach curled into a knot, and my heart
exploded like a bomb had just been dropped on it.
I didn't care who the fuck it was anymore.
"Lee Won...right?"
Of course, my best friend. It had to be the guy
who I actually liked, but at least he was a good
guy. At least it was Lee Won.
"No, I think I love Tony."
Tony? Hipster Tony? The guy who makes out
with under age girls Tony? Guy who ruined our
performance almost by snorting coke at the lunch
tables with loser high school rejects?
"...That's great."
"I'm going to ask him out. Do you think he'll say
yes?"
"...Yeah."
Everything after that was a blur of her talking
about how hot and perfect he was. How she
LOVED his style. How she LOVED his fucking
keytar playing. When she came to give me a hug
to leave, I hugged her and felt nothing but my
heart breaking even more.
Luckily, though, for me, I had one person that
could move mountains if need be. I had the one
person that had the power to change the balance
of love in one go.
I had Lee Won.
I go back to my house a few hours later and see
that Lee is on the computer doing some
homework before heading off to sleep on the
sleeping bag that I had in my garage. He asked
me how the date went, and I said that it wasn't
any date.
He asked me if he found out about Lauren liking
Tony, and I flipped out. He fucking knew? Then
why the hell didn't he tell me this before? He told
me that he wanted me to have confidence and
not feel like shit going, and Lee Won thought she
would like me the same if I had some confidence.
His confidence busting failed, and I felt like shit.
He told me that Lauren told him the night of the
Valentines Day Dance, and how she was really
jealous of him going after those young teenage
girls. She asked him what she should do to get
Tony, and Lee Won told her that Tony seemed
kinda of a free spirit and probably couldn't be tied
down by one girl. He then said she responded by
saying that it was her goal to tame him or some
dominatrix shit like that.
We spent the rest of the night trying to think of a
way for her to fall for me and not him, and he
suggested to take his van, go to her house, stand
atop the van, and play guitar outside her window.
I told him that her parents would flip out and kill
me, and he agreed.
On Monday we had class, and me and Lee Won
hung out during free period to become strategical
and find a way to make myself appealing to her.
We thought maybe that I should change my style
to what Tony wore, but we agreed that becoming
like him would be too much money and be a
waste of time. Lucas came over in his chair forty
minutes later and asked what was up, saying he
heard about Tony and Lauren.
We ask him how the hell he found that out, and
he told us that Lauren came to him last night on
the phone, asking how to get Tony. I raged
inside, Lee tried not to laugh at all of her
attempts, and Lucas said to go up to Tony, show
her breasts, and ask him for sex. I was about to
hit the fucking 500 pound wheelchair bastard, but
Lee stopped me and said that he was just joking.
He wasn't, but I was calmed down by that point.
I call a band meeting after school at my place
and everyone shows up, including Tony and
Lauren. I tell them that we'll probably be booking
our new gig soon, so we should start practicing.
We all agree to do an instant practice session,
and we begin. An hour or two later, Tony says he
has to leave and bolts, Lauren following behind
him.
Me and Lee Won stop for a few seconds, look at
each other, and go closely behind her to see what
transpires. Mom wasn't home again, so the two
of them were in the kitchen we caught up to them
out of the garage.
Lauren had her hands on his trashy suit that he
was wearing, and I could hear the words, 'I like
you' over the silence that overcame me. My heart
dropped, again, and I felt like shit...again. Tony
took her arms, pressed his hands around her
waist, grabbing her ass in the process, and
started to make out with her in my kitchen.
I sigh, tell Lee Won let's go back, and we do. We
go back to the garage and hang out with Chelsea
and Lucas who are talking about some shitty new
television show on VH1 or some stupid crap . I sit
down on the rundown couch I have in the corner
and put my heads in my face. I felt like crying,
but I couldn't feel any water come out of my
eyes.
Chelsea asked me what was wrong, but I just told
her that I hit my head when walking to the
bathroom. She sat next to me and apologized
randomly for always bringing her outside friends
to practices and outings we have. I told her it
was fine, and we shared...a moment...somewhat.
The night ended with Tony and Lauren coming
back to the garage, hand in hand, Tony saying
that he had the energy to practice some more.
We practiced all night long, and even if the rest of
the band was having fun, I was not.
She called me the night after the practice, saying
that she couldn't believe that he liked her the
same way she did him. I didn't believe any shit
that came from Tony's lips, even if he was apart
of my group, and I wish he would burn in hell for
putting his lips on the girl I really, really liked.
The next few days of practicing was awkward,
having the two of them playing right next to each
other with Tony grinding the top of his instrument
into the backside of Lauren while playing. If it
wasn't for Lucas and Lee Won stopping me after
that practice, I was going to follow Tony and
Lauren, killing Tony when I caught up to them.
The two of them left practice right away and went
to some cheap cafe that Tony raved about,
Lauren wanting to try the coffee that he adored.
The rest of the night was spent with me, Lucas,
Lee, and Chelsea playing scrabble with my Mom
and Rodrigo.
We wanted to go out and do something as a
group, but my Mom saw us all come out from the
garage and insisted we spent the night meeting
her new man. The game lasted until 12:00 AM
when Rodrigo finally got drunk enough to start
groping my mother in front of my friends. She
said that she should get him to bed, and the two
of them went upstairs with his hand up her shirt.
Lucas said he should get home and had Lee Won
help him down my front steps to get to his
expensive car. Chelsea trailed behind the two and
stayed with me while Lee gave his best shot at
making Lucas get off his chair and take a few
steps down.
She implored to why I looked like I was about to
throw up during practice and wondered if I had a
crush on Lauren. I told her that I didn't and just
thought Tony was ruining our practice, but she
didn't believe me and saw through my simple
disguise of not caring.
Chelsea told me that if I wanted, me and her
could go out on a date and see if I liked her as
much as she liked me, but I declined. Told her
that she was just joking with me, and I walked
away before she could say anything else to me. I
went down to push Lucas off his chair and force
him to walk to his car while Chelsea's eyes
burned in the back of my skull.
Next gig was lined up for February 27th at Lucas'
Mom's best friend's daughter's party that she
was holding because she got back together with
her old boyfriend. A stupid reason for a party, but
Lucas got us another gig, so we took it right
away.
Tony and Lauren wouldn't get away from each
other. Every time I looked at one of them, the
other was there. I asked Lee if he could ask Tony
to see if he really liked Lauren and wasn't just
doing it for sex, and Lee Won complied by getting
Tony alone after practice before he went off with
his new girlfriend.
Lee came back, telling me that Tony said that he
really loved Lauren, and I wanted to punch
something. The guy was such a douche, and if
Lauren wouldn't quit from it, I would have kicked
him out of my band. He didn't add anything to
the band, anymore.
Then it hit me on the head. He never signed up
for my band because he wanted to play music.
He signed up so that he could get high, get paid,
and have sex with women...Dammit, it was really
like he was a rock star.
Two days before the performance, Lee Won came
to me with an idea. He told me that he had an
idea to get Lauren and Tony to break up and
leave her to me. I didn't know why he was so
mad at Tony, but then he added that he found
Tony and Lauren in his van...doing stuff, and he
had to explain to his parents why his van smelled
the way it did.
With that said, we made a pact. In two days, we
were going to take down the hipster and get
myself the girl I love.
Sadly, Lee Won would never get to forget the
images that he saw that night in the van.