All alone...

My name is Kendra Tinch, I have night
terrors to the point where I am scared to
sleep, I woke up by having one about my
best friend...Charlie and I can't fall back
to sleep so I wrote this about him. Why
did god put his life in my hands...my
weak, confused, and young hands. Ever
since I was in Kindergarten I have
always been a loner. I would never talk
to anyone and I would always swing
alone ever day.
My teachers and family members were
worried about me saying I was abnormal
and needed to make friends. I was all
alone, until third grade when I met my
best friend Charlie Tuggle. He was my
only friend we would swing together
everyday. I had the biggest crush on him
and I wanted to tell him but I was too
scared so instead of saying anything I
just kept quiet and swang. The same two
swings, kids used to make fun of me but
Charlie would always say the same thing
"You will always have me." I swear I can
still hear that voice. Fifth grade he
invited me to go four wheeler riding
with him. I said no...I don't know why
all I know is that I didn't want to.
Three days past by and Charlie didn't
come to school, then I saw his mom and I
asked her where Charlie was and she
had this expression on her face. That
look, I will never forget it, it's burnt into
my mind. Then She started crying and
hugged me at the time all I was thinking
was "What is going on..." Then
everything became clear as she told me
that Charlie went out four wheeler riding
alone and flipped in the creek. I was
silent and couldn't breathe my whole
world came crashing down.
"No one noticed until it was too late."
Before she could go on I ran out of the
room. For a month straight I refused to
talk to anyone, anytime someone would
mention Charlie I would get mad and
have a panic attack. Three years
later...now, I still can't stand to hear that
name...I still have night mares and I still
believe it was all my fault. Two days ago
when I was running in cross country we
ran past the Elementary school and past
the playground and I remember seeing
the two swings and I couldn't move and
starting puking...I still haven't gotten
over it and I don't think I ever
will..maybe if I had gone with him I
wouldn't be all alone now.by kendra