A Letter To A Friend

Dear friend,
Remember that time when we first met?
I was nothing in your eyes and you were
nothing in mine. We were strangers
back then; shy to take the first move, yet
somehow we managed to break that
wall. I started chatting to you, made a
joke and you burst out laughing. We
became friends.
We built on our relationship by joking
around and testing our trust. We moved
unto secondary high school and our bond
became stronger with every day.
You see, I was the one you kept to when
the times were hard. I would joke
around and you would laugh away. I was
the only best friend you had back then
and I would be there for you at every
demand, every day of my life. When I
was off ill, you would cry because no
other friend could make your day. It was
all quite flattering and our bond wasn't
even broken by my family, who despite
seeing our happy moments, blamed you
as 'bad' influence.
We took rides to and from school by bus.
Our lessons at school were full of
excitement as we counted down the
minutes till our next lesson together. We
sat together in our form room, chatting
away, and exchanging secrets and
gossip.
We would become breathless and our
stomachs would ache as we laughed till
we cried. We would get in trouble;
sometimes we even got sent out, yet we
still carried on staying cheerful.
Yet despite our closeness, things started
changing.
You started to fade away, you spent time
away from me and stopped taking the
bus home. You stopped laughing
hysterically at my lame jokes, and you
shut yourself away. Then you replaced
me.
We were back to being strangers again.
Now I sit far away in the corner
watching you laugh away with my
replacement. I see the smile on your face
that I once used to cause. I spend my
break time and lunchtime away from
you and our favourite spot. It makes me
sick nowadays. I feel like I've lost
something which built me up. I cry
endlessly yet my cries and screams may
never be heard.
You are a ghost, a shadow... Lingering
behind me and following my lost
footsteps. It seems like I don't smile
anymore, I seek attention yet I get none.
I've become someone different, someone
torn and scarred.
I hate your presence yet I miss you
dearly. I sometimes catch a glimpse of
you, smiling away with your new friend
as I sit alone. Your laughs echo through
the classroom and this time you and
your friend get in trouble, not me.
I spend my time after school like its
some curse. I try to chat to you on social
websites yet you barely ever answer. I
feel like I've lost something of great
value, and indeed I have. School isn't the
same, no, wait...life isn't the same. And
it never will be.
Sometimes I see you walk past with your
'friend'. Both of you smiling and
chatting up random students. You
wander around the school as if to catch
me out alone. I have tried all sorts of
groups and I finally found one were I fit
in. Yet it still isn't the same; I feel
embarrassed for I have been rejected by
you.
I hope that one day, when I am dying,
you will hold my hand and whisper
"Sorry" as tears fall down your face. I
want nothing more, just the word sorry.
Sorry for leaving me, ignoring me and
hurting me. Sorry for rejecting and
abandoning me.
Sorry, its such a word, such a powerful
meaning....And it would justify your
choices, actions and words...
I am sorry...
Goodbye!
Sincerely,
Your Forgotten Friend